Sunday 31 March 2013

The Future Of This Blog

I feel as if I should explain why I haven't been blogging much lately.  The simple and straightforward truth is, I just haven't felt like writing.  I'm slowly losing interest in the endeavour, I guess, although I'm not sure entirely why (or if/when my interest will return).

I started this blog because I wanted to document my de-conversion experience, or at least hit on some of the highlights.  I knew that I would forget many of the details, as time continued to pass, especially as it relates to my internal dialogue during the de-conversion process itself.  (I have an admittedly terrible memory, on pretty much everything. :))

Also, my kids aren't old enough yet to grasp the gravity of Daddy not believing in god anymore. They understand, intellectually speaking, that Daddy and Mommy don't believe in god, and Grammy and Grampy do, but to them it just doesn't seem like a big deal at all.  I realize a time is coming when they will truly *get* how big of a deal religion is though, in this world, and I know they will wonder, at that point, why I changed my mind.  And that's *really* the reason I started this website.  I guess a small part of me also felt as if I needed to get some things off my chest.

Why am I losing interest now?  I've been doing a lot of pondering on that, and I think it's primarily because I have a sizeable live and let live component to my personality.  It's true that I have come to believe humanity would be better off without religion, in the grand scheme of things, but I don't agree that religion poisons "everything" (as Christopher Hitchens would say).  I think Sam Harris had it basically right when he argued, in effect, that one of the core problems with religion is that it gives people bad reasons to do good things...and this is especially egregious because better reasons are in fact available (humanist ones).  Many of the Christians that I know personally believe in doing good works, but their motivations are intractably tied up in "the gospel". I now believe this gospel is false, in the sense that I no longer believe Jesus was god, and such, *yet I still share in their desire to do good works for my fellow man*.  Lately, this desire has simply been superseding my desire to be "right", by proving to Christians their religion is false (at times this seems like a nearly impossible task anyway).

Having said all of that, I am still passionately interested in pursuing the truth.  I do find myself thinking "I should write a post about that", quite often actually, and I have no shortage of ideas (or half written posts!).  It's just the desire is waning, and I'm not sure when it will return.  

At this stage, allow me to simply say a heartfelt *thank you*, to those who have read and commented thus far.  If you care deeply about the big questions in life, like I do, than I very much consider you to be part of my in-group.  I don't care if you count yourself an atheist, a Christian, or something else entirely.  I'd like to think we're all just doing our best, to figure things out, and that's an endeavour best approached in community.

I do not intend to shut down this blog, and I do think I'll eventually write more often again.  I'm just not sure when, or exactly how often.  I don't want to force myself to write.  I want to want to write and, for these past few months, I just haven't been feeling it.

So, I hope you'll stick around, or at least check in for new material every few weeks or so.

I've never wanted to be the sort of person who shoved my opinions down people's throats and, on occasion, I fear that I have fallen into that trap here on this blog (although hopefully not too often).
With the exception of maybe one or two mean commenters (who are pretty easy to identify) I have appreciated everyone's questions, challenges, and support, a great deal.  I hope you feel as if this has been a safe place to explore those big questions together, and to both encourage and challenge one another along the way.  

23 comments:

  1. If it was part of your transition experience, then thank you for a thoughtful final post. I think your purpose was a fine one and will be helpful to other people who find you via google.

    That being said, I transitioned in stages, so if you feel the urge to return please do. I was away from church for over 10 years before I realized the Eucharist was cannibalistic. I'll keep you in my reading list just in case you find a second wind.

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  2. Wow, I posted my first comment on your blog today, and now, you appear to be stopping it for all intents and purposes. I really was late to the party.

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  3. RA, very understandable. I will keep your blog on my RSS reader for anything you may write in the future. I've enjoyed reading your posts. There are too many "angry atheists" on the net and your blog is the opposite.

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  4. Thank you for your blog. I started following it about a year ago and it was very helpful to me during my deconversion. You gave me a lot to think about and to research. Be well.

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  5. Whether it's weeks, months, or years, I'll be back to read your next post. You're on my site's blog roll permanently.

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  6. I can certainly relate. Here is hoping the urge returns someday soon.

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  7. RA, allow me a comment and a smile on your reflection:
    "I want to want to write and, ....."
    It reminded me of how somebody made me understand free will:
    ....Yes, you can do what you want, but you will not be able to want what you want to do....
    Greetings.

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  8. I hope you get the writers itch once again. I just found your blog and love it.

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  9. I want to just say "thank you" for your blog.
    I just found it.
    I have been looking at many "atheist" blogs and yours really is thought provoking in a kind respectful manner.
    Your children will definitely benefit from your wisdom.

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  10. This blog is amazing and so well done. Hope you come back soon :-)

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  11. One year anniversary post perhaps??

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  12. Maybe you'd be willing to take on a different endeavour? We sure could use your help with the show The Infidel (news show for Atheists, we need a newswriter). Please let us know.

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    1. Forgot to say, email me at atheismtv at gmail

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    2. I appreciate the offer (truly), but I'm going to pass. Life is just too hectic right now. But I'll check out your show.

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  13. I just stumbled on your blog today, but I wish I had much earlier when I went through the same deconverting process. Like yourself, though, I have to remain anonymous because of the intense family issues that it will entail. If you're open to conversations outside this forum, I'd appreciate the dialogue.

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    1. If you'd be willing to give me your email address, in a comment, I'll email you.

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    2. Ok, thanks. Use rockrobster at rocketmail dot com

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  14. I just found your blog. I have had a wonderful time reading it. I too was very religious for 30 plus years, due to the conformity of my mother's views. I am a closet atheist as well. I totally relate to your posts and I appreciate you in so many ways. What an amazing blog! Thank you!

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  15. This blog is amazing! So helpful with the deconversion process I am going through. I really appreciate all the information you have covered. This is great, thank you for putting in the time to write this!

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  16. Why is it Christians get offensive if you point out a flaw in their belief and act as if you are committing murder to their firstborn child?

    It seems I've notice more and more that Atheists know more about religion then religious people and often do not engage in petty attacks where a Christian or some other wacko will call you names then find ways to prove you wrong saying the same things over and over again.

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  17. I've enjoyed reading your thoughts and have been down this road myself. It's no small thing to de-convert when your entire life is layered in and around religion. You learn how sinister and truly evil it is. These people who "love" you and have been unable to re-convert you abandon you. Along with the other 95% of everybody else, they will berate and negate you with their righteous indignation until you surrender your will to fight for truth. You feel like you're beating your head against a wall. And you are. I don't know the answer but religion will never re-claim me unless this so called supreme being is willing to stop hiding. Except there is no supreme being. This universe is too vast and complex. It's very existence doesn't prove a god. Quite the contrary. And it's so much more beautiful and spectacular than the bleakness of heaven and hell that it's worth it to stay in the convesation. In time as knowledge and understanding grows, so will humanity.

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  18. Your blog is quite interesting! I should write about my own journey to secularism some time albeit it's not as interesting or as tumultuous as it was for many in the secular community. Keep writing when you find fresh ideas, but don't force it! Blogs are for fun :) I'm just starting my own blog about being an atheist and a social conservative, which many in the secular community don't seem to be. https://thevirtousatheist.blogspot.com/

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