I thought it might be appropriate to begin my blogging experience by telling my de-conversion story. I've never written about it before so, frankly, I have no idea how many posts this will take (the de-conversion itself took about two years). I'll do my best to cover all of the salient points in my journey and, hey, I'll be done when I'm done...
It all started in 2008 when I made a decision, together with a group of fellow Christians, to read the Bible from cover to cover (quite literally...beginning in Genesis and ending in Revelation). Having just come out of a dry spell, aka a "lukewarm" period, in my faith, I was feeling a renewed sense of passion to dig deeper into (what I thought at the time was) my walk with God. Simply put, I was pretty excited about the challenge.
Now, don't get me wrong, I knew full well there was some weird stuff in the Bible. Also, I had read much of the Old (and New) Testament before, but, for an assortment of reasons, that I won't take the time to analyze now, this time around it hit me in a totally different way. Yes, of course, I knew the Old Testament was the "old covenant", and that Jesus (supposedly) abolished all of these weird laws and restrictions, with the "new covenant", but, still, it WAS supposed to be the same God...wasn't it?
Well, if so, than this God is way more petty (which isn't to mention cruel, barbaric...) than I had ever imagined Him to be. (And isn't God supposed to be the same "yesterday, today, and forever"?)
For example, what spiritual lesson was I supposed to be gleaning from verses like Leviticus 19:19? "Ye shall keep my statutes. Thou shalt not let thy cattle gender with a diverse kind: thou shalt not sow thy field with mingled seed: neither shall a garment mingled of linen and woolen come upon thee." Mixing fabrics used to be sinful in God's eyes? Was I missing something here?
I could give many many many more examples (so please don't waste your time on trying to justify and/or explain this single verse) but, for the purposes of my initial (de-conversion themed) post, I simply want to make the point that it was the Bible itself that first stirred up doubts in me (but really they were more like questions, at this stage of my journey, since I was still convinced there were satisfactory answers to be found...if I looked hard enough).
Well, over the next two years, I looked. And looked and looked and looked again. And the more I did, the deeper my questions (soon to be doubts) became.
I'll pick up this story, again, in my next post.